Flying takes all kinds of precautionary measures. None are as serious – I hope you are all sitting down for this – as snow globes. That was really hard for me to write. I know that I have burst many a traveler’s bubble when I say ‘Guys, when you’re packing for that a) beach holiday b) hike to Machu Picchu ) visit to your parent’s house – you will not be allowed snow globes in your luggage’. I mean, what is the world coming to? At times like this it makes me want to pause…What about the suffering in Africa? Do they have snow globes? No? They don’t? Well then let’s move on. Let’s think of all the cheesy souvenir shops the world over that sell leaking orbs of snowiness to over eager tourists. What are they going to tell their families? I can see it all now, ‘Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you…’ The parents look at each other. Mom pipes up the courage to speak, ‘It’s okay Johnny…’ Johnny blurts back, ‘It’s not okay, nothing will every be okay again’. Dad spits out ‘Jesus, he is gay Mary, I knew it. That move to New York and all that talk of culture.’ Johnny bites back ‘Dad I’m not gay,’ awkward silence from Johnny’s fiancée sitting in the corner, necking a scotch. ‘Mom, Dad, the snow globe I bought you at Disney was confiscated by the TSA. I’m so, so sorry’. Hysterical tears at this unbearable sadness. Dad cries out ‘ I wish you were gay! It would have been so much easier….What am I going to people at the club when I show up with no snow globe! What will people think?’ Way to go TSA, way to go ‘airport security’, way to shatter people’s hopes and dreams…
My New York Note Book 